How to write a eulogy: a gentle step-by-step guide

What to include, how long it should be and how to get through the day, plus a free eulogy writer that turns your memories into a printable draft.

Funeral planning5 November 20267 min read

Written by Killick Family Funerals

The short answer: A eulogy is a short speech that tells the story of someone's life and what they meant to the people who loved them. Most run for three to five minutes, which is roughly 400 to 700 words. Start by gathering a few memories, pick one or two stories that really sound like them, write the way you'd speak, then read it aloud a few times before the day. If you'd like a head start, our free eulogy writer turns your answers into a draft you can edit and print.

Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour, and it can also feel like a lot, especially when you're grieving. You don't need to be a confident speaker or a natural writer. The people listening aren't there to judge you. They're there because they loved the same person you did. This guide walks you through it gently, one step at a time.

Try the free eulogy writer. Answer a few gentle questions, choose a traditional, warm or light-hearted tone, and get a first draft you can change, print or save as a PDF. Everything you type stays on your own device.

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a tribute, usually given during a funeral or memorial service, that remembers the person who has died. It isn't a full biography. It's a portrait: who they were, what they cared about, and the small things that made them unmistakably themselves. A good eulogy helps everyone in the room feel they've spent a few more minutes with the person they've lost.

A eulogy can be given by a family member, a close friend or a celebrant, and sometimes two or three people share it. If you're not sure who should speak, talk it over with the family and with your funeral director. There's no single right way.

How long should a eulogy be?

Three to five minutes suits most services. At a gentle speaking pace that's around 400 to 700 words, or about one to two printed pages in a large font. If several people are speaking, keep yours closer to three minutes so the service doesn't run long. Shorter and heartfelt is always better than longer and rushed.

How do I start writing a eulogy?

Don't start with a blank page. Start with notes. Sit down with a cuppa, and perhaps with family, and jot down whatever comes to mind. These questions can help:

Where and when were they born, and where did they grow up?
Who did they love? Partner, children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters, close mates.
What did they do for work, or what kept them busy?
What did they love doing? Their garden, footy, fishing, cooking, the CWA, the bowls club?
Which three words describe them best?
What did they always say?
What's one story that sums them up?
What would they want everyone to remember?

These are the same questions our eulogy writer asks. If you fill them in there, it will shape your answers into flowing paragraphs for you to build on.

What should a eulogy include?

Most eulogies follow a simple shape. You don't have to follow it exactly, but it gives you somewhere to begin:

A welcome and who you are. Thank people for coming and say how you knew the person, for example "I'm Sarah, Peg's eldest daughter."
Their life story, briefly. Where they were born and grew up, and the big chapters: work, marriage, family, moves.
Who they were. Their character, their passions, the sayings everyone can hear in their voice.
One or two stories. This is the heart of the eulogy. A single, specific moment says more than a list of qualities.
What they leave behind. The people they loved, and what they'd want us to remember.
A farewell. A few words spoken to them directly, a favourite line, or a simple thank you.

How do I make it sound like them?

Details are what bring a person back into the room. "She was generous" is lovely. "She never let anyone leave without a container of scones" is unforgettable. Use their nickname, the things they said, the places they loved around the South Burnett, and the little habits everyone will recognise.

Write the way you talk, in short sentences. Read each paragraph out loud as you go. If a sentence trips you up, make it simpler.

Is it okay to use humour in a eulogy?

Yes, if it fits the person and the family. A gentle laugh can be a real relief on a hard day, and many families describe a funeral as a celebration of life. Keep humour kind, and make sure the stories are ones the family would be happy to hear shared. If in doubt, run it past someone close to the family first. Our eulogy writer lets you choose a traditional, warm or light-hearted tone so you can see how each one feels.

How do I get through reading it on the day?

Practise out loud a few times at home, ideally to someone you trust.
Print it in a large font with plenty of space between paragraphs, and mark where you'd like to pause.
Go slowly. Nerves make us speed up. Take a breath between paragraphs.
Have a backup. Give a copy to a family member or the celebrant who can step in if you need them to. That's completely normal.
Bring water and tissues, and don't worry about tears. Everyone understands.

If family can't travel to the service, our chapel services can be live streamed and recorded, so they can still hear your words. Katrina also creates multimedia photo tributes, which can sit beautifully alongside a eulogy. You can read more about planning a farewell on our memorial service page.

Ready to begin? Open the free eulogy writer and have a printable first draft in a few minutes.

Frequently asked questions

Who usually gives the eulogy?

Often it's a close family member or friend, but it can be anyone the family chooses, including a celebrant. Some families share it between two or three people, each speaking about a different part of the person's life.

Can someone else read the eulogy I wrote?

Yes. If speaking feels like too much, you can write it and ask a family member, friend or the celebrant to read it for you. Your words still carry the love behind them.

What's the difference between a eulogy and an obituary?

A eulogy is spoken at the service and is personal and warm. An obituary or funeral notice is written to share the news of a death and the service details. You can see recent notices on our tributes page.

Is the eulogy writer private?

Yes. The eulogy writer runs entirely in your web browser. Your answers are saved on your own device so you can come back later, and nothing you type is sent to us or anyone else. Use the "Clear everything" button when you've finished, especially on a shared computer.